Cross Training Questions - im write stories, not profesional but tell me wat u think of first chapter wud u buy if if i publised and y?

im write stories, not profesional but tell me wat u think of first chapter wud u buy if if i publised and y?

Nice start...rough. You'd be having to hire an editor to make the story line flow better. By the way...don't place your writings on a public network if you don't want someone to steal them from you. If you want another writer to look at your materials, never hand out the original. Don't let others in on your product (story) unless you can trust them. Publishers want stories that are almost already perfect. The cost to publish is high. They want referrals and or known author materials. Where some took great risks in the past...they now don't. So keep trying. From your presentation here, you'll need to hire an editor or ghost writer who knows how to spell and good grammar. Cost is high, risk is high.
Thats not too good to be honest, boring in fact. include more decription with interesting metaphors! but keep going and you will get beter, u definately need a more unique writing style to grip the reader. also most of the narrative is in dialect like "half seven", if the narrative voice is saying this it should be more formal.