Cross Training Questions - hello, im 14 years old and writing a story, my teacher says im really good for my age. tell me ur thoughts plz

hello, im 14 years old and writing a story, my teacher says im really good for my age. tell me ur thoughts plz

As a teacher for HS students, Everything you write is persuasive. What I read from you seems like what I'd get from a 6-8th grader. The vocab could be better and you need to hook your reader in a way that is not babyish or like a fantisy story or the beginning of Franklin, Little Bear or Blues clues. Your choice of words needs help and I recommend using your thesorus. Avoid contractions, words like get, gotten, thing, everything, anything, stuff...replace words like sad, good, nice and cool with strong vocab. In my English class that would get about a C. You asked for an opinion...our english Dept. is very hard on the kids, but they end up performing very well on state mandated tests.
Dude, I'm 14 and I've shit better writing than that.